A House Is Born

A Summary

August: Moved out of our house. Went to Pennsylvania. Stayed there for a month.  Attended a wedding of people we love. Lived through an earthquake and a hurricane.  Stayed out til 5am.  Ate a lot of pizza.  Drank a lot of beer.

September: Moved into a rental house in Maine.  Started older boys in new school.  Started homeschooling younger boy.  Started soccer, Jukado and band.  Joined the Board of a nonprofit.  Waited semi-patiently for house to be built.

To sum up the summary:  Life has been crazy.  I have been far too busy to blog.  All my energy is directed toward keeping my head above water everyday.  But things are good.  Not settled yet, but good.  We are moving along in the right direction, and sometimes that is the best you can ask for.

One Step Forward...

Is it true that you have to go back to move forward?  It looks like that's the case for us.  We are back in NEPA (that's northeastern Pennsylvania for all you Mainers out there), where Keith and I both grew up.  We will be here for a month, living with  my mother-in-law, until we can move into our rental in Portland.  And yes, in case you haven't heard, we FINALLY have a rental for September and October!  Better still, take a look at this:

They've started clearing our land!  Progress!

Which brings me back to the question at hand...do you need to regress in order to have progress?  We have not spent more than a week at a stretch on PA soil since leaving here for our seaside home nearly 12 years ago.  A few times a year we load up the van and make the eight hour trek to our homeland where we are welcomed as the prodigal family, and where we proceed to do not much besides eat pizza and drink beer for a week in the pleasurable company of our relatives. 

But this time it's different.  We are here for a month.  Today I signed up for an advantage card at Price Chopper; next week we're going to get a library card.  We are residents again, albeit temporary ones.  I love my adopted home state of Maine and plan to never leave it permanently, but there is something sweet and right about being back in our true, first home during this period of uncertainty and transition.  Somehow, it completes the circle.

Lost in Transition

We are living in a transitional space, no doubt about it.  We are here, in the same house we have lived in for the past 10 years, but it is no longer our house.  We are managing to keep up with cutting the grass, but have given up gardening or any other yard work.  No potted flowers decorating our porch or patio this year.  What is the point when you know they will die in storage anyway?

I have also given up cleaning certain rooms in the house.  Our front room is the holding room - no longer a space for living, simply a space for piling stuff.  Even if I could maneuver in there, what is the point of cleaning it?  Keith will just haul more dusty, dirty stuff up from the basement and plop it there.

I don't like living this way.  The house (not out house anymore) looks sad without flowers on the porch.  I dislike walking into the house everyday and entering the chaos of boxes and random things piled up.  I don't want to be here anymore.  I'm ready to go.

I know this life of transition will continue for at least 2 or 3 more months.  We will spend a month living with my mother-in-law in Pennsylvania, then another 4 to 6 weeks living...somewhere.  We don't know where yet.  In Maine, we hope, but wherever it is, it will be another transition space. 

We are lucky.  We will have a house waiting for us on the other side of this transition...a beautiful new house that we hope never to leave.  These three transitional months are nothing when you image the years to come.  However, in the middle of the tunnel, it is sometimes hard to see the light at the other end.

The Comfort Zone

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm neurotic about organization - I just prefer it to disorganization, that's all.  My house is rarely clean (that is, dusted and vacuumed) but it is almost always organized.  Most things in my house have A Place, and the few things have not yet been designated A Place drive me crazy.  I'm not a minimalist - there are piles of stuff in my house, most often books - but they are neat, organized piles.  And I admit, somewhat ashamedly, that when I dine out in a restaurant the first thing I do when I sit down at the table is arrange the silverware and condiments so they are neatly in place.  I know.  But I'm not hurting anyone, right?

This is the front room in my house right now:

The other rooms aren't much better.  I think H's room and the bathrooms are the only rooms without piles of boxes in them.  You can imagine, I'm sure, how far out of my comfort zone this puts me. 

I wouldn't say that living with this chaos is the greatest challenge of the moving process...we've had far too many other obstacles for me to make that claim.  But I would say that this room is symbolic of what we are going through right now.  Life is uncomfortable these days.  Being uncomfortable is necessary for growth.  But it isn't fun.

Giving It Up

I put it all out there.  I took all my stress and I put it out to the Universe.  I put it on this blog. I put it on Facebook.  I put it in an email to my moms' group.  I gave it to my yoga teacher.  I gave it to a friend over dinner.  I have raised my hands and given it up.

And the Universe has given back to me.  I've been offered a condo to use, free of charge.  I've been offered a beautiful house to rent at an affordable price with no stipulations.  Friends have offered the use of their house while they are on vacation.  Friends have offered to help us pack and move our things to storage. 

In the worst of times, the Universe always shows you why you should be grateful.  Last year, we experienced the worst thing we have ever experienced - a crash that injured me and two of our kids, destroyed our family vehicle and shook our sense of safety.  And yet, through the fear and the pain and the stress, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  Friends called and stopped by.  Family came to stay.  Everyone cooked for us and brought us food.  A beautiful little girl gave T her jacket, to replace the one he lost in the accident. 

Sometimes, I forget.  But this week has been a reminder to me.  When you think things are at their worst, don't lock the fear and the stress inside.  Give it up to the Universe, put it out there, and you will be amazed at what you get back. 

A Vacation Day

We're no further ahead today than we were yesterday, but...

...how could we resist this? 

It's July 4th, it's a holiday, the weather was perfect (until the storm) and the beach was there.  We were powerless to resist.  Plus, H looks so cute in her new suit, doesn't she?